Awesome.

Thanks LJ!

Want.

I love You Father.
I want to acknowledge that on a continuous basis.
You are my FATHER.
You reign in heaven.
You have created us and the earth, we, Your children, each have a purpose.
I want to seek and see Your Face.
I want others to see You in me.
I want to discover through Your Spirit Your perfect will for my life.
I want to draw closer to You each day.
I want to rely on Your promises.
I want Your will in all of my decisions and blessings.
You have given me so much already.
You've protected me and comforted my heart thus far.
I am worthy of none of it.
I deserve nothing.
But You gave it anyway.
You give it daily.
You lift my head and smile.
I love You.
God, I love You.

"For I am the Lord, I do not change."
~Malachi 3:6

Everything You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
~Chris Tomlin

Dry.

I feel as if I live my life in a constant state of being almost overwhelmed. To be honest, I think (and my friends have said)this is how I function best. Rarely do I ever like to just sit and do nothing, unless I'm tired or talking w/someone. Working two jobs and going to school is probably going to get the best of me soon, and then I feel guilty when my friends or family ask me to do something and all I really want to do is go to a class at the gym and have someone else tell me what to do so I don't have to think or just sit and watch TV. Sorry I'm venting to whoever reads this, just know you can vent to me too, it's healthy. This whole amazing thing God is working out in my life is unbelievable, I don't fully understand it yet, but I'm open. Sometimes I feel like a horse that's about to start a race and is being held in that little tiny gate and is restless and excited, it's kind of like the more I obey God, the more His plan manifests, like there's so much I want to do for Him and I just don't see how any of it's going to happen, and then I wonder if what I need to be doing is making more of a positive impact on the people around me NOW and not worry about the later. I have plans for my life, but I am ready and willing to change them in an instant if God says to. I am in the midst of a semi-huge decision and all I can really do right now is trust God for the outcome. There are also people in my life that frustrate me beyond belief, but I still have to love them, I have to remember that representing Christ is of utmost importance, especially in these uncertain times. And speaking of uncertain times, I really (deep down in my soul) don't think that we have a whole lot of time left on this earth, I feel like this "training ground" God has placed us on is fading fast. The only thing that matters is His will for our individual lives, I know He wants us to enjoy our lives, but there comes a point (and I am speaking for myself and current situations)when we have to accept that what has happened in the past is done, it's gone, it's unhealthy to dwell on it, what is important is every day from here on out that God grants us-what we do w/it, who we impact, the love we share. Sigh.........I'm going to bed.

Smile.

I needed these :o)

Opportunities.

I know this is technically the 22nd, but I wanted to post these before I spend all day w/the fam tomorrow! I have been introduced to an amazing church through two friends from work, I spent New Year's Eve there this year, and have been attending a 7am prayer meeting each sat morning for about a month or so, it's open to anyone who is available and has really been changing my life. Hope is my home, but I love this prayer meeting and I love their pastor, the church is called Raleigh International Church (see my link sect), I just wanted to give them props, I'm so blessed to see who God places in leadership, so many amazing men and women-I'm so blessed to know them.

I also wanted to say that I recently started sponsoring a child through world vision (see link) and am able to write to him and hopefully he will write back to me! I'm excited about it, I know people get sketched out about "if the money really goes to these kids", but I'm giving this money from my heart to God, and I trust Him w/it!

Confused.

Let’s start this blog off with a BANG!

Joyce Meyer believes that the mind is a battlefield, I concur. Let me elaborate: there are areas in my life, that when pondered, cause my brain to feel muddled. I also know that God is not the author of confusion, so like a good Christian, I politely asked God “what the deal is” regarding these areas. I begged. I pleaded. I even waited (a great concept). And…I got nothing. This prompted me to implore alternative methods of figuring out God’s “answer”. As a Christian I usually only have 5 clear routes (not in order of importance):
1.) The classic, “what would Jesus do?,” how would He handle this situation?
2.) Extensive Biblical/Christian literature “research” (and yes the whole closing your eyes and flipping open your Bible to point to THE verse that will speak to you counts) :o)
3.) Praying and waiting and trying to do nothing and trying to just forget about it and…..never mind.
4.) Seeking “wise” counsel from fellow Christian friends or even scarier…
5.) Doing my own thing.
There are other methods but I didn’t think screaming and crying and throwing a hissy fit deserved a category, so… after dabbling a little in each of these profound methods, I chose route #2 (although it really wasn’t very extensive). The “answer” actually came pretty quickly (a rare occurrence); I referenced a scripture I had come across in one of my favorite books by Joyce called “The Secret Power of Speaking God’s Word” (go buy it, ASAP!):

“I cast the whole of my care [all of my anxieties, all my worries, all my concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for me affectionately and cares about me watchfully.”~1 Peter 5:7

Simple as that, when you don’t know the answer-cast it ALL on Him-trust me He can handle it. For me it’s just hard transferring it from my head, to my life. Giving it ALL to God and asking forgiveness and forgetting the mistakes and the sin- the forgetting part gets me every time. But I have experienced true healing and TRUST me-this takes time, lots of time and prayer. We all go through life and encounter all kinds of very different experiences-it’s what makes us individuals, it’s what God uses to shape our character and help others, even the mistakes we make and the sin we fall into are used by God (hopefully we learn from these experiences and move on!). I think the key to living is learning (from God of course) and struggling and becoming stronger and struggling some more and becoming even stronger and living each day as a day that is fresh and beautiful and God given. It’s letting go of your past, but never forgetting it completely-relying on it at times to remember that, as Joyce says, “you’re not where you want to be, but thank God you’re not where you used to be!”-love it. She rocks my world-literally.

I don’t know-I just want to say that I am ALL in-it’s just the beginning for me-I don’t know where else I can go except up, I’ve given my life to God-I will give it up for Him and in service to Him-the most important thing on earth to me is to share God’s Love and sweet salvation, this life is just a glimpse, just a “training ground” for what He has in store for us, man I’m excited. If God says jump, I say how high, if He says go, I say where to, when He says trust Me, I will.

Okay…so it wasn’t a BANG, but it was definitely a POP right? :o) Love you guys.

He died, He rose…give praise where praise is due-Happy Easter-Love You Jesus.
YOU are my everything.


"Because He lives,

I can face tomorrow,

Because He lives, all fear is gone;

Because I know He holds the future,

And life is worth the living,

Just because He lives!"


William J. Gaither© 1971
Mattew 28:6