Dry.

I feel as if I live my life in a constant state of being almost overwhelmed. To be honest, I think (and my friends have said)this is how I function best. Rarely do I ever like to just sit and do nothing, unless I'm tired or talking w/someone. Working two jobs and going to school is probably going to get the best of me soon, and then I feel guilty when my friends or family ask me to do something and all I really want to do is go to a class at the gym and have someone else tell me what to do so I don't have to think or just sit and watch TV. Sorry I'm venting to whoever reads this, just know you can vent to me too, it's healthy. This whole amazing thing God is working out in my life is unbelievable, I don't fully understand it yet, but I'm open. Sometimes I feel like a horse that's about to start a race and is being held in that little tiny gate and is restless and excited, it's kind of like the more I obey God, the more His plan manifests, like there's so much I want to do for Him and I just don't see how any of it's going to happen, and then I wonder if what I need to be doing is making more of a positive impact on the people around me NOW and not worry about the later. I have plans for my life, but I am ready and willing to change them in an instant if God says to. I am in the midst of a semi-huge decision and all I can really do right now is trust God for the outcome. There are also people in my life that frustrate me beyond belief, but I still have to love them, I have to remember that representing Christ is of utmost importance, especially in these uncertain times. And speaking of uncertain times, I really (deep down in my soul) don't think that we have a whole lot of time left on this earth, I feel like this "training ground" God has placed us on is fading fast. The only thing that matters is His will for our individual lives, I know He wants us to enjoy our lives, but there comes a point (and I am speaking for myself and current situations)when we have to accept that what has happened in the past is done, it's gone, it's unhealthy to dwell on it, what is important is every day from here on out that God grants us-what we do w/it, who we impact, the love we share. Sigh.........I'm going to bed.