Blessed.

To try to sum up what exactly the past few weeks have meant to me would be impossible, but I will attempt. I returned (for the second time) to Trinidad a few weeks ago. I had almost decided not to return (and was planning on going to Africa instead), but through a series of events ended up going back to Trinidad (thank You God). I knew Trinidad would be different this year b/c I am different this year. My walk w/God is ALOT more intense and I am ALOT more IN LOVE w/Him than before (there is no sweeter love than His). The team was smaller, but as always put together by God. So many of the people I met there last year remembered me (and I remembered them too!), honestly it was like coming home to family, I got so much LOVE there, constant, I cried when I left, and cried when I got back to the States. If my parents would have sent some of my things, I would have stayed there-no joke. People say to find one mission trip you love and return there every year-well this is it for me-Trinidad every single year (and maybe in between!), I can't stand the thought of seeing them only once a year :o(. Missions aren't for everyone, I know, but I do think everyone should experience at least one trip in their lifetime, yeah we've got out work cut out for us here, but honestly it's just so AWESOME to experience one week a year of living in another culture, eating their food, meeting their people, seeing their land, and best of all worshipping the SAME God WITH them-no words!!! I LOVE Trinidad, I was CRAZY not to want to go back-good thing God has control over my crazy head!!!

Top 5 things I am currently looking forward to:

1.) Signing a lease w/my new roomie (and friend!) Angela on Wednesday morning!

2.) Summer semester of school ENDING on Monday the 28th!!!

3.) Having a Trini reunion dinner on Aug 4th at Outback-yummm-Donnie's excited :o)

4.) Volunteering for the Leadership Summit on August 7th and 8th-I had a blast last year!

5.) Going to see Journey w/a bunch of AWESOME friends (new and old ;o)) on Aug 10th! Tailgating!!! (just kidding!)

God You rock and You're AWESOME and You're my world, thanks for knocking me down a few pegs when I need it, and help me to continue to TRUST You in all I do! Love, Your daughter

God's ultimate plan is far beyond our imaginings as the oak tree is from the acorn's imaginings. The acorn does what it was made to do, without pestering its Maker with questions about when and how and why. We who have been given an intelligence and a will and a whole range of wants that can be set against the divine Pattern for Good are asked to believe Him. We are given the chance to trust Him when He says to us, "...If any man will let himself be lost for my sake, he will find his true self."
When will we find it? we ask. The answer is, Trust Me.
How will we find it? The answer again is, Trust Me.
Why must I let myself be lost? we persist. The answer is, Look at the acorn and Trust Me.

~Elisabeth Elliot

Meditate.

This song ROCKS, read the words as you listen to it.


I'm lost and broken, all alone on this road
The wheels keep turnin', but the feelin' is gone
When I fear I'm on my own
You remind me I am not alone
When You said

[chorus]
I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you
For you alone
I'd leave ninety-nine
Leave them all behind
To find you

It's dark and lonely and the path is unclear
Can't move my feet because I'm frozen in fear
Then you say, "My child, my child -
I am always here, I'm by your side"

[chorus]

You're never too far down
I promise you'll be found
I'll reach into the mud and mirely clay
Pursue you to the end
Like a faithful friend
Nothing in this world can keep me away

[chorus]

~Audio Adrenaline

Tents.

Lately I've been struggling alot, it's not very noticeable to most people-it's internal. I think that there are things in life that we think we can fix on our own, the "easy" things, things that aren't really "deep" issues. But if you really think about it alot of the "easy" things that we have issues with are a result of the "deeper" things. My own example is a deep seeded need for attention, the need to work out, tan, buy cute clothes, do stuff to my face and hair, etc. When I feel like maybe I have too much self going on, I often think-oh that's easy, I just won't work out as much, I won't worry so much about what I wear or how my hair looks, but that's a lie b/c what needs to change is not all of those "easy" things, it's the deeper need for attention and that void can only be filled by One thing.

I believe God is the only thing in life capable of changing someone, if you're a Christian I'm sure you've seen prime examples of lives that have been transformed through His amazing Grace. It's not easy digging the dirt out of your life, it's not easy to be obedient and allow God to change the things that need to change, gosh I wish sometimes that I could just KNOW what He has in store for those who love Him, what amazing things He has planned for my life if I would just give in to His ways, be obedient. I've always told my friends as well as myself that you can TRULY know for a fact if God is in something if that thing (or person for that matter) makes you want to get closer to Jesus, if it (or they) don't...well. It's actually pretty simple if you think about it,just like I read in another blog recently "having a lot of "me" time tends to make me more self-centered, not less". That was awesome to me b/c I am the type of person that enjoys alot of "me" time, and I think that it's important, but I also think that it really allows you to focus too much on yourself, on the problems or issues you have, and then the self-pity sinks in.

I recently read 1 Chronicles 17, and it spoke to me like this: David is concerned about building a house for the ark of the covenant, but God tells Nathan to tell David that He took him from a pasture to be a ruler, that He made all of his enemies go away, and that He is going to make David's name one of the greatest in the world, God said He was ok moving from "tent to tent", not only does God tell David not to be concerned about building the house but He promises David that when David is old He will build David a house (stay with me) and will make David's children great as well. I loved this b/c to me it means that God is the One who initiates greatness in us, God is the One who cares for us through change after change in life, He doesn't ask that we concern ourselves w/what He is doing, but that we just be obedient to it from "tent to tent" He is w/us, and is building us a "house" where we will live w/Him forever. He promises that.

That's why I know that I will be able to overcome these "deep" issues, things that God points out in me that need to change, but I have to understand that He is the One to do it in His timing and that there is nothing I can do in my own power to produce this amazing change. I have alot to learn, alot of growing to do, but I'm going to grow in Him, I am going to seek and accomplish His will for my life, there are thing and feelings I don't understand, questions I would love to have answered, but I know that if I am going through it, then I can also handle it-another of His promises :o) I have so much love to give and I look forward every single day on pouring it out on people. Just keeping my eyes on Him and trying hard not to think on everything else.

"Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my family, that You have brought me this far? And as if this were not enough in Your sight, O God, You have spoken to me of the house of Your servant. You have looked on me as if I were the most exalted of men, O Lord God."
"There is no One like You, O Lord, and there is no God but You."
~1 Chronicles 17:16-17,20